After ten years of blogging about Michael Jackson on the anniversary of his death, I had decided last year, that I would not be writing a blog on June 25 anymore. I felt that I had nothing more to say that I hadn’t already said before. And then this year, covid.
As I pulled into Forest Lawn Glendale, I started to feel a sense of peace in my heart chakra. It’s as if my body knows I am heading into a place of healing and love and I need that now, more than I can ever remember. My mother is in a nursing facility, left brain damaged from her second husband’s abuse, and for the past four months, has not been allowed visitors from family. I managed to get permission to see her from a gate and the experience has been exhausting knowing how isolated and lonely she has been. The last few times she has asked me why I can’t come inside and I have tried to explain to her even though it makes no sense. Yesterday on my 25 minute visit, she asked “is this all” meaning am I ever going to be able to come in, brought me to tears. She held onto the large avocado I brought her as if it was the only thing in the world she could hold onto. Then, to make matters worse, I was told that the Dept. of Health said if she did not have a covid test once a week for a month, that she would be isolated in her tiny bedroom. Last night I could not sleep thinking about how painful this has been for her and all the elders, in a similar situation across the U.S. I prayed to my father and Michael, to help me find someone to help me set them free from this tyranny.
I arrived to the familiar place where cards and flowers are placed and must admit it was not the same without all the red roses that Robyn Starkand organized for the past ten years. However, I saw Silvily, setting up cards from fans around the world. Seeing Silvily Thomas touched my heart, someone I know and love from the “soldiers of love” community and I felt myself getting emotional. I told Silvily I was not going to create a blog this year but after seeing the cards, roses and sunflowers, I changed my mind.
Eleven years later and why am I still moved to write about Michael Jackson? Because now, more than ever, we need to love and care for each other and the fans that normally travel from all over the world to come pay their respects to him, cannot travel this year. My heart is heavy because of my mother’s isolation and if I can bring a smile to someone in the world, sharing the love I am witness to at Forest Lawn, then I have accomplished something meaningful today. No one understood this better than Michael Jackson, who would visit children’s orphanages as well as sick and dying children, before and after his concerts.
Last year I meet Ada Lu who came from Beijing in April 2019 to study communications at USC. Look at all the handmade gifts she made for Michael. The creativity amongst MJ fans has astounded me for the past decade.
Here is Kenna Flowers, who has been a fan since she was a baby. “I was born in 1985. Always been a fan of Michael Joseph Jackson. I remember this day eleven years ago. I screamed. I feel really close to him. I always have and always will.” Then, she shares, as if she has to say it outloud, “I was adopted. This is my mother behind me. There’s just a lot. I wish sometimes, no disrespect, I wish I could know where I come from. I think she would be hurt if I tried to find out.” “I understand” I said as I hoped to hold a space for her to feel safe. Behind our masks, we were both crying.
My friend Gloria and I met and I was so happy to meet her at Forest Lawn, along with Eric, another heart centered soul. Her heart is so beautiful and I went back to Forest Lawn in the afternoon, just to see her. As I was returning to FL after driving back home to get the majority of my blog created, Eric saw me and said “Everyone is in the back. There is a circle of love.” A circle of love is what this entire planet needs right now.
Michael Jackson was a kind, generous man with courage, character, perseverance and he was a social activist who created art to last for all time. Thank g-d for his humanity. He made us better people, less judgemental. The way he loved to help people, his mission to help others was Michael’s walk. He is missed, all over the globe as millions of us felt he was the king of light and love and I feel blessed to have walked on the earth when he did.