Back at the courthouse for the continuation of the preliminary Conrad Murray trial. Yes, I’m still Michaeling. I continue to be there in support of one of the most loved yet misunderstood and judged performers in history. His death nearly a year ago was a cataclysmic event that continues to affect me and millions all over the globe.
The approximate one hour drive to downtown Los Angeles from my home is nothing compared to some of the sojourn fans made on Michael’s behalf. Fans from Argentina, Hong Kong, Netherlands, Romania, Russian, Spain, Malaysia made banners and signed messages. I met Marilyn and Karen from Estonia. Angela and Lucy from Germany and Barbara from Czech.
Jermaine, Joe, La Toya and Katherine came in through the rear with Randy making his way through the fans lined up at the front. I decided to wait in the back for their exit and through the back door they came. I wasn’t quite as aggressive this time as the last when my camera was confiscated for taking pictures inside the court house. Conrad Murray didn’t come in through the front or back, he was snuck in the underground garage.
I’m attaching photos to try to give you a sense of the powerful dedication MJ’s fans continue to hold for him and his family. Millions if not billions of people all over the world continue to support and love him. I’ve spent countless hours reading about him which has brought me an understanding that Michael, more than anything, loved big. He was so gossamer that it had to be difficult living in his shoes. All his light constantly being snuffed out by dark. The insomnia that started so young. I imagine it would be difficult singing to hundreds of thousands of people on stage where the auditorium is a lovefest and then go home and sleep. All that love coming at him for over four decades. Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping when I’m in love.
Michael’s death is a lesson in more ways than one. Not to waste a single moment of life. I’ve been writing for decades and not sharing a word. Sometimes a story here or there with an intimate friend but the rest was kept under lock and password. No more.
What happened to Michael reminds me of the media and Princess Diana. The press loved to focus on her anorexia, bulimia and depression instead of the charity work she did for children and eradicating land minds. With Michael, the press focused on his surgeries and skin color instead of his colossal charity work.Those of us who saw the beauty of his soul looked beyond the surgeries. We know that victims of child abuse often develop psychological problems such as Body Dysmorphic Disorder. We focused on his caring, loving spirit. Before and after concerts whenever he toured, Michael would visit sick and dying children. The press preferred to sully his name. Salacious allegations sell more newspapers than hospital visits to children with Leukemia, cancer and aids.
Michael’s life was backwards in some ways. He was an adult when he was a child and a child as an adult. Watching videos of him between the time of Off The Wall and Thriller, I saw a boy in a man’s body whose favorite word was magic. In one interview of 1984, he said magic six times. He smiled and laughed a lot. By the end of the trial in 2005, not only did he not use the word magic but his light was gone. The media pummeled it out of him. In This Is It, his light returned. Even after he had been vilified by the mass media and forced to leave his homeland, Michael’s light returned. “We want to take them places they’ve never been before. It’s all for love. L-O-V-E”. His life’s work, in part, was to give us magic. He gave us great lessons. Even though he was the innocent victim of extortion engineered by greedy, corrupt adults,which was proven in both cases of the allegations against him, he kept loving. Even though he reportedly had over 1,500 lawsuits where people tried to get a piece of his wealth, he kept loving. He kept loving and forgiving in spite of all the judgements aimed at him.